Be Yourself Without Apology

... but Be Adaptable

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”

—Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Ella

We're all unique and special and don’t need to modify who we are just to make others comfortable. Emerson’s words are ones I certainly lived by, as we all should. I knew exactly who I was, and no one was going to change me.

I didn’t let anyone tell me who I should be. People might have seen me as just a dog, but I had every right to sit in chairs, stay in fancy hotels, and go on adventures. I loved people and spent more of my time with them than with other dogs.

Never let anyone, or society’s expectations, stop you from becoming or being who you are—your true self. Know what you value and let those values guide you.

When something was important to me, I didn’t budge. I protected my family, ate all the food I wanted, and spent my time walking, hiking, and running. I didn’t bother with the things that didn’t bring me joy, like playing fetch or wrestling with other dogs. Maybe, as a dog, some people expected me to like those things, but they weren’t my jam.

On the other hand, you have to accept that change is inevitable, and be flexible on certain things. We have to be able to adapt and go with the flow of life, or else we get stuck. I always disliked baths, being brushed, and going to the vet, but I knew those weren’t worth fighting against. I accepted that those weren’t so bad and were ultimately good for me.

There were plenty of times in my life when I had to adapt to new circumstances. I was eight years old the year Mom added two kittens, the boyfriend who would become my dad, and Mala to our family—all within a year! Even though I was no longer the sole focus of Mom’s attention, I knew having an expanded family was ultimately a good thing, and it was.

I adapted again when we moved to our new house in the mountains after I had spent most of my life in the suburbs. With more space to explore, more smells to check out, and wildlife all around, it was stimulating to be in this new place.

When I started going to physical therapy for my suspected degenerative myelopathy (DM), I was fairly easygoing about it. There were certain things I wouldn’t stand for, like lying on my side on command. I was also a bit sneaky about my time on the water treadmill—occasionally I would put my back feet on the sides that weren’t moving to take a break. This would work briefly until Mom noticed and the therapist would make me start walking again.

Even with all of these adaptations, I remained who I was at the core. I knew the things that were important to me and didn’t waiver when it came to those. I didn’t always do what I was told, and some people might have labeled me a bad dog, but Mom appreciated my tenacity and independent spirit. She defended me to those who judged me and loved me exactly as I was. If someone wants to change you, they’re not the right person for you.

When Mom went through yoga teacher training, she read a translation of the ancient text the Bhagavad Gita. When she started teaching yoga, she summarized one of the verses to use as a theme for class. She told her students “It’s better to follow our own path, though done with mistakes, than to follow another’s perfectly.” I agree that it’s best to always be yourself, even if it ruffles a few feathers.